Childhood Emotional Neglect
Childhood Emotional Neglect
One of my primary interests as a counselor is working with people who have experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN). This is a term that seems to be spreading and establishing itself in the consciousness of the mental health field. I have links to a number of articles about it here in my Reading Recs blog post. I know of one main psychologist who has pioneered work in CEN; Jonice Webb, PhD, who with Christine Musello, PsyD wrote a book called Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. I am not a follower of any one particular person’s work on this topic, although I find Dr Webb’s description in her book of the common experiences of CEN and its many causes, to be helpful, and I am grateful for her work to make it more widely known. I find her definition of this term to be a hugely helpful description for the common experiences of adults who had experiences as a child and adolescent of not getting their needs met emotionally by their parents or caregivers.
“There is a minimal amount of parental emotional connection, empathy and ongoing attention which is necessary to fuel a child’s growth and development so that he or she will grow into an emotionally healthy and emotionally connected adult. Less than that minimal amount and the child becomes an adult who struggles emotionally— outwardly successful, perhaps, but empty, missing something within, which the world can’t see.” -Running on Empty, Jonice Webb
Where Do We See CEN Happen?
Dr. Webb outlines twelve kinds of parents who may, at times, fail to meet their children’s emotional needs, including: narcissistic, authoritarian, permissive, bereaved, addicted, depressed, workaholic, sociopathic, or achievement-focused parents, also in cases where the parent has a special needs family member, cases where the child is the role of a parent, or where the parent is well-meaning but neglected themselves. I believe this list could be expanded with more descriptors, but I think it gives a good list of examples. I also want to note, being a workaholic is not the only reason a parent may need to spend time at work away from their child— parents are not adequately supported by our American society collectively and often have to spend an unjust amount of time working for a paycheck to make ends meet. To me, this is a systemic issue.
Childhood Emotional Neglect seems to be a common thread through many forms of Complex Trauma, including trauma in the home and church. I plan to write more in future blog posts about those intersections.
I hope this brief introduction plays a small part in raising awareness of Childhood Emotional Neglect, and gives you an idea of my interest in it as a therapist.